Saturday, 9 July 2011

Thought Detonation #25 - Gadgets and Personality

Another contest organized by Indiblogger ( and Dell ( and another post from Thought Detonation as well. Now this contest is called “Change is easy”. Why? Because Dell just came up with a lappy that can beat chameleons when it comes to changing colour and wanted to market it. That simple. Now the contest is to describe how your gadgets reflect your personality. However I will have to eliminate a few flaws and make a few assumptions to let you all know the point. So bear all this silently. You can play loud music if you want, but I am not hearing any of that. So it’s better to stay silent, isn’t it?

08 July 2011, 22:15 hrs, In Delhi Metro Yellow Line, Somewhere between New Delhi and Chandni Chowk -

I stood like I was hung to the grab rails as I waited for Kasmere Gate to arrive early. All seats were occupied and I was the only person standing in the coach. This is the story of my life in fact. I hung on the grab rails, thinking what could I possibly write for the Gadget competition. I had read long ago on web, a few weeks earlier in TOI that your gadgets reflect your personality and also decide what kind of sauce you prefer and what kind of partner you find tasty. Well I guess it must have been sauce-tasty and partner-prefer but this mistake make sense a lot better. All this is blah-blah shit actually. Why don’t they say that my sauce & girls determine the kind of gadgets I use? Anyways, I hung on the grab rails and was thinking what could I possibly write for the Gadget competition. It was getting late, 22:20 that time and I was a hell lot sleep deprived. Moreover the delayed results of my last contest entry were actually pissing me off a bit. We are Indians and we love working that way. We just love it. Anyways, I still had to write something for the contest. I did not write it till now because I am an Indian, I just love working this way. I am not going to win anyway, especially when like a 100 vets and seasoned bloggers have already given the best shot and many of them have cute DPs. Damn!! Even my facebook profile doesn’t have a DP. Still, I really need something original and out of the box to write about. I just can’t write normal stuff like ‘my Iphone – my love’ or ‘my HP – my bitch’.

While I thought the most rotten things, I was constantly bugged by beeps and trashing sounds. I just hate beeps. It reminds me of my alarm and detonable dynamites. Well, actually both are similar. I tilted my body a bit forward to look what this girl was doing on her laptop. She was a short thin girl. In a black tank top and black skirt. It actually took me some time to differentiate between the two. It’s like a sandwich you see – white skin, black cloth and white skin. She had a Lenovo Ideapad Y series. Now that’s cool. It’s a really interesting thing to have. I leaned a little bit more to see what on the Earth was she doing that made this cute machine beep every five seconds. As I grabbed the view of her screen I was startled and words came out of my mouth –“What the….” She was playing Tetris!! Wow…You have got a lenovo Y series in your lap and you play Tetris!! Why don’t you try finding nemo now?

*Beep* *Beep* *Beep* *Trrrrraaaaaasssssshhhhhh*

She lost again. I had been hearing similar sounds since past half an hour which means she was a pathetic player. A five year old kid would have played better on his first time.

*Nokia tune*

She took pulled out her purse and kept it on her laptop’s keypad. She didn’t care pausing the game. I guess, the game would last a little longer if she wasn’t on the control. She took out random things from her purse and put them in her lap. In some deep dark corner of the universe, possibly in the stomach of ogdru jahad, she found her mobile phone.

*Nokia tune*

It was a message. She was in no hurry to read it. She neatly packed her stuff again and zipped her purse. She put her purse around her arm again and then sat blank for a few seconds. This commotion was too much for her brain to take. She came to her senses in like 4 seconds and took the mobile phone in her hands. Sony Xperia X10. “Oh my god!!” I just couldn’t stop myself. I was about to faint.

What is my cutie pie doing right now? (: (:

Oh wow. I am just loving this. This made my day, or night, however you call it. She typed this thing below on her Xperia and sent it to a guy called Maddy.

Cutie pie is playing tetris on lappy.....
Lappy is cutu....I love purple colour....:) :) :-*

What can I say? Lenovo Y series…Tetris…Xperia X 10…Nokia tune…
This girl downloaded Nokia tune from internet to make it her message ringtone. That too on an Xperia X 10!!
I wanted to hit her hard. I was so agitated to snatch that lappy from her and give it to that guy. (I ‘ll let you know who that guy was, in like 5 minutes.)

Ohh...gr8...Tetris huh? I was wondering if you want to play with something else that sounds similar ;) ;)

Well, it was none of my business to read anything after that. However dumb she is, she had a right to privacy.
So this is what we have people – Lenovo Y series & Tetris and Xperia X10 & sexting.

PS : 1) Please don’t disgrace technology. I feel miserable for each molecule of silicon in that lappy. Please buy technology only if you know how to work with it.
2) In some cases, gadgets can be misleading while determining personality.

***Just a little earlier than the above incident***

08 July 2011, 21:55 hrs, In Delhi Metro Voilet Line, Somewhere near Central Secretariat -

I was sitting in Metro Train and it was late night. I just wished I made it to my home before 11 o’clock. I really don’t want to wake my parents up from sleep. I anxiously looked at my wrist watch. There was so much to do the next day. I was making things-to-do list in my mind that I would print on paper when I reach home. I also needed to sleep for seven hours or else I would not be able to work the next day. Moreover I had to write a blog post as well. So it means I must be totally in control. I don’t even have a topic by now. No plot, no theme. All has to be done at once. I don’t wish to write fiction again. I want a real story for this.

“What do you mean you can’t make the header?”
I overheard my fellow passenger speaking on phone. This statement was made with higher amplitude than rest of the conversation. It, kind of, itch my ears. I hate it when I am disturbed while thinking.

“How can I do it? The company provides me with this netbook and…”
“No I can’t Mr. Nitish, I can’t run Photoshop on this netbook. It has a Celeron processor. Photoshop will not work fine on this. It will be very slow. I can only do the coding job…That’s it”

After a few more yes and OKs he hung up and banged his netbook top with his palm. I could feel seismic waves propagate as I sat just next to him.
He had to restart his machine again.
“Bloody provide me a pencil & paper next time and ask me to predict rocket trajectories.”
Even his curses were geek. I looked at his screen. He was doing some HTML business. He was a web designer I guess. He was making something like a forum, a journalism website maybe. He had a netbook from a company I do not recognize by name. More importantly, an Intel Celeron sticker stuck on it. The geekish dude kept on cursing his company for the brilliant stuff it provided to its engineers.
“As if I am a Computer clerk rather than a computer engineer. Akshara was such a nice company. I don’t know why I came to webtechs.”

I don’t know both the companies to be frank. Was he talking of Infosys and Microsoft? I really do not know!! This guy was in such a desperate need of a better resource. I could see it on his face. He wore a NIT t-shirt, which means he was from a good college and had a good degree. His speed was actually quite respectable. He finished his job and was looking at his previews. I wished I could gift him some high end Lappy. It did make him happier than having sex with a girl. You need to trust me on that. How about a macbook? Nothing turns on a geek like a macbook. A slightest smell of mac and they are turned on like a dog on morning walk.

*Nokia tune*

Boss calling....

“Yes sir the work is done.”
“Absolutely Sir…I’ll do it by tomorrow morning…Yes sir…Yes Sir…I’ll do the graphics as well…Sure Sir…Thank you sir..”
His boss hung up and simultaneously he uttered – “You mom was a common bit*h Mr. Boss”

He stuffed his phone inside his pocket. Nokia 1100. It’s a brilliant phone I tell you. Two languages – English and Hindi, plus a torch light, plus 140 character SMS support, 500 phonebook memory, 20 last calls history and 200 SMS memory.

My stop had arrived and I got down at Central Secretariat to change for my next metro.

PS : 1) Please provide technology to those who need it like their next breath.
2) In some more cases, gadgets can be misleading while determining personality.

Moral of the story –

Your gadgets reflect you personality only when –
1)      You are not dumb.
2)      You are not a geek working on company issued netbooks.

My personality matches a few of most-raunchiest things ever created. Like Y2K, a personal PARAM PADMA to play CS, Mc Laren F1, F-22 raptor flight simulator, EKM class subs and a million other most-raunchiest things. K

All a writer’s heart wishes is readers. If you find this work interesting then do share it liberally within your network.
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