Saturday, 21 May 2011

Thought Detonation #15 – It’s faith

When people read my work like this one or this one, they ask me how I speak so openly about beauty and whether it affects my personal relationships with “people”. To this I reply straight, “I have a girlfriend who trusts me”. When I say this I feel pity for the kind of amazement these folks show me. So in my way, I have a story to show them how blind trust could be.

…It was three in the afternoon when Vinay ringed the door bell of his house and his girlfriend open to him. It had been 6 months since he was on tour and was just back home. Life of a Naval IT Engineer is sort of exhausting. Ankita, his beloved girl, knew he was arriving which made he do funny things like washing her hair, applying lip paint when in her house, spraying over two bottles of air freshener and a million other crazy things. She made sure that the bathroom was at its best and nothing was short there. She had set up the DVD player and had lined nearly 4 movies to watch back to back. But as for now, she just clung to him tight and pushed her nails deep in his back. There was a desperate hug of two hearts wanting to meet. Vinay closed the door behind them as Ankita came to her consciousness. It has been six months since they had seen each other. Both were in a live-in relationship. Their parents didn’t know about that. But they had let them know that they were dating each other. So it was a half clean and half hidden sort of a relationship. Vinay worked as a Marine IT expert while Ankita was perusing her Master’s degree. They made a cute couple, a rare couple in which the girl is duskier than the guy. Both had been loving each other for last 7 years and living together for two. The kind of faith they had in each other was unshakable.

It was late evening when Ankita was done with enquiring Vinay about his trip and the places he went. You know these guys are always on sail. They never know where they are going until they reach there to work! So it is always a curiosity for girlfriends of such guys to enquire places their guy had been. So it was for Ankita. She was just moving towards the couch and was about to touch the remote when Vinay called her and said, “I wanna be with you for some time. Ain’t no movies this eve. Baby  Please” as he stretched please to pallleeassee. Ankita came near him and asked if he wanted to tell her something. She had felt him a little preoccupied today. Was it a problem at work? Or something else? She had tried to guess but his travel tales shadowed all of that and she never asked about it. But now, since he wanted to be with her and not watch movies, it was something of weightage worth asking. “Come on. You have me always with you.”, she said as her tongue touched her upper lip in a playful manner. Vinay pulled her towards him and said, “I gotta tell you something dear. You will trust me with what I say?” What? Why is he talking this way? Something fishy? Did his parents come to know about their living together? “Hmm sure. I will trust with anything honey.” she said as she sat in his lap playing with his nose. They both smiled at each other, and Vinay continued…

“ Back in Feb. when I was in Cape Town I had a day off you know. We guys were free to just roam about and drink and all you know. So I was in that music lounge with my friends you know. And then we had to come back to the hotel. You know only 5 guys come in a sedan… I had to pool in with someone else you know.” He was kind of uncomfortable speaking this. Ankita knew he was so because he was too concerned about carefully putting down what he was saying. She didn’t know what he was going to say, but she was assured that whatever it was, it could hurt her. This was the only reason Vinay was so careful with what he was uttering. She moved her hands on his shoulders and reclined on him as she kept her head on his chest. She was a great listener, and knew that this would give him assurance to speak out whatever he felt.  “I was offered a lift by a girl. She was 21 and an Indian as well. Her dad worked in some metal works factory there while she worked part time in the cafeteria beside. She was kind of nice Indian girl. And you know her mother had passed away. She told me about her family. Nah m saying? Even I told her about you and you know, how we were planning for a marriage and all. She heard everything about us. She asked for your number as well.” Ankita was getting a bit anxious. She pressed herself tight to him asked, “ Did you had drinks that evening?” as her voice broke down a little at the end. Vinay quickly gripped her and said, “I wasn’t drunk dear. Nothing happened honey. I just had squash. You would never be out of my mind even if I was.” This put aside a lot of confusions in Ankita’s mind as Vinay continued, “Know that girl was sad. She didn’t show it. But, you know, you would have known she was. She left her studies after she was 18 and started working part-time. Part-time from morning 8 to evening 6. So you know, she was just working. Her second boy friend had recently dumped her because she was Indian. That dude from US was kind of shoo away to Indians. He just dated her for two months every night and then left her. So basically she was sad. You nah how she must be feeling right?” Ankita nodded in return and looked straight in his eyes. Which meant she was drinking every word he spoke. “We reached the hotel I was staying in, It was nine in night” he continued, “I was about to get off when she asked me to stay. She said that I was the best person she had ever met and she was grateful to me because I listened to her. She wasn’t able to tell all of her story to anyone. And I had been like an angle to her. I was actually about to get off her car, you know, when she caught my jacked and pulled herself close to me. I really wanted to just leave, you know. But if I did so then it would have shattered her, you know. A milk-butter guy had left her to weep sometime ago. I just didn’t want to do the same. Even she was an Indian honey. But trust me you were in my mind even then. I never lost the thought of you. I always knew I will tell you what ever happened from then. I was conscious and trust me I didn’t have drinks. She just moved to me and hugged me tight. I wanted to just move away, you know, but she started crying. I just couldn’t move myself. She hugged me tight and wept over me. Then, you know, I was trying to say something like ‘It will be alright’ or something when I found her lips on mine.” Ankita just gulped in her throat and rubbed her moist eyes on his shirt. Vinay was feeling terribly torn apart. This could spoil his relation which was nearing a decade now. He didn’t know if he was going to lose Ankita. He didn’t know how she would react. He just avoided looking to her as he watched the ceiling fan rotate. Did he hurt Ankita for the sake of not hurting a random girl? He was confused, but not ashamed of what he did. He was standing by his act and told her everything that had happened. “That’s all that happened before I left her and went to my room.” There was a killing silence for a few seconds. Vinay left his fate to Ankita’s judgment as Ankita assessed the situation while tears rolled down her eyes. She just got over Vinay and said, “You are the best person I have ever met, but be grateful to me cus’ I have listened to you.” She had listened to him so well that she knew the words of the girl exactly the way she had spoken. Vinay was moved by what his love had just done. He entangled his fingers into hers and said, “You are the best thing that ever happened to me. You are the best choice I ever made.” It was an emotional moment for the couple. Ankita hit her forehead on his and closed her eyes as she slipped in his arms saying, “Looks like you found a new blog post today.” Vinay smiled back at her and lifted her in his arms and moved towards the couch.
*It's faith*

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