Thought Detonation #15 – It’s faith

When people read my work like this one or this one, they ask me how I speak so openly about beauty and whether it affects my personal relationships with “people”. To this I reply straight, “I have a girlfriend who trusts me”. When I say this I feel pity for the kind of amazement these folks show me. So in my way, I have a story to show them how blind trust could be.

…It was three in the afternoon when Vinay ringed the door bell of his house and his girlfriend open to him. It had been 6 months since he was on tour and was just back home. Life of a Naval IT Engineer is sort of exhausting. Ankita, his beloved girl, knew he was arriving which made he do funny things like washing her hair, applying lip paint when in her house, spraying over two bottles of air freshener and a million other crazy things. She made sure that the bathroom was at its best and nothing was short there. She had set up the DVD player and had lined nearly 4 movies to watch back to back. But as for now, she just clung to him tight and pushed her nails deep in his back. There was a desperate hug of two hearts wanting to meet. Vinay closed the door behind them as Ankita came to her consciousness. It has been six months since they had seen each other. Both were in a live-in relationship. Their parents didn’t know about that. But they had let them know that they were dating each other. So it was a half clean and half hidden sort of a relationship. Vinay worked as a Marine IT expert while Ankita was perusing her Master’s degree. They made a cute couple, a rare couple in which the girl is duskier than the guy. Both had been loving each other for last 7 years and living together for two. The kind of faith they had in each other was unshakable.

Thought Detonation #14 - Just Stay Happy Fella

…Today I am so messed up. Have been really frustrated and dipped in anger all day. Nah, don’t ask me the reasons. Dipped enough to forget writing the blog as well! So you see I am really preoccupied. When it comes to me, being preoccupied can just mean thinking, and being even more preoccupied, even more thinking. I am a thoughtful fool as many folks consider. Since I was so in filth, the thought was also about being messed up. I guess I have found a new caption for Sallu Bhai. We must replace “Being Human” to “Being Messed Up”. It’s a lot more apt that way. I am so head-cracked and nobody cares, you see that eh? Nobody cares….

…Since the thought on being messed up was a lot messed up itself, and of which, I don’t remember a single point, I will just tell you what I came up with. Even if you are all messed, just stay happy; at least pretend that you are happy. Now come on, how? I don’t know. Just stay happy and wear that smile eh. Just let people keep trying to make out from that smile if you want to bash them or hug them. Keep fooling yourself and pretend to yourself that even if you are robbed off your car or left roofless, god will have better plans for you. You see God? He actually doesn’t have much work and he is so vella that he starts to come up with good plans for everybody in universe! That is roughly 6,775,235,700 people; and he has a better plan for each one of them! WOW, efficient working han? Just if my state’s Police were quarter that efficient, trust me I really wouldn’t have needed your better plans Mr. God.

Thought Detonation #13 – Real Beauty

You know I was thinking to write something about beauty today. To my greatest surprise, I wasn’t able to “judge” what beauty is! Trying to write about real beauty, when you don’t know what beauty is in the first place, is actually something dumb. There were a few things that I could associate with beauty; like mother’s love, selfless and tender and white in colour. It is beautiful.  Or a walk in dark as the night sky is illuminated by a million stars, without caring of what was back home or what you have to do tomorrow, when you actually live that moment and look at the stillness of moon. This ,surely, would be beautiful. How about sitting ashore a long lonely stretch of coastline, watching the sun dip behind waves, with orange sky and red horizons, as the sea sings you a constant tune and steady hush. How would it feel to reduce the tempo of your thoughts to the rhythm of hushhhhh…Beautiful. What about being a three year old as you see you daddy bring home ice cream. Even more beautiful. How about watching your three year old eat the ice cream you bought? How about finding the girl who just teased me and went away that day? I would get me mad, beautiful. How about sitting in garden early morning as you watch the bees collecting nectar from you flowers, and you let them steal it without slightest of reconsideration, without a phone or a reminder to disturb you, so you could just sit and ponder upon what beauty was. How about revisiting the time you first touched a girl? Feel again what you felt when lips touched? Ah..Heavens. Does it really matter to know what beauty is? I am still not able to generalize what beauty is, would it be objective? Can a person declare that a thing is absolute beauty? I don’t know, and I am no body to declare what beauty is. But this doesn’t stop me from recognizing things that are beautiful. It’s like I don’t how to fix an engine but I know how to drive. I don’t know what beauty is, but I know my bike and me on a lonely highway is beautiful, I know memories of youth with a pal who got shot down in riots are beautiful. These might not be “beauty” themselves, but they are full of beauty,”beauty-ful”.

Thought Detonation #12 - Something for those eyes

I was hot under my collar today morning as I saw the feedback my blog was getting. Statistics didn’t impress me much but it was the reader feedback that was making me proud. I was on a verge of getting over confident. This happens to be one of my weaknesses and I try hard to keep it under a check. I was just surfing across a couple of blogs when I found this (http://joshidaniel.com/). This guy has beautiful photography skills. I just love the way a few of his pics speak for themselves. What specifically caught my attention was this (http://joshidaniel.com/2011/05/08/137/)

(Image courtesy: Joshi Daniel)

“In these eyes so helpless
What I see is depth

Questions eco in those little ears
“Why am I here”, yes I can hear

Something for the pain, that he doesn’t ‘know’
May be he wasn’t ever happy, or never showed
What those frozen lips might utter, when curtains of dumbness slide across
If they knew a little of how to express, that soul wants a flight of albatross

This world must be fake, or blinded by the bling
But I do care, and I think”

Thought Detonation #11 - When three friends part

Today I was again at Central Market, but not like that day. It was three of us – Mehroz, Pulkit and me. After mad fun ranging from Nehru Place to Lajpat nagar, it was time to part. It wasn’t a “see you tomorrow bro” kind of parting. We all would be leaving to different places after today. So technically we were meeting for the last time. It truly was a different kind of parting. We all had known each other last two years and our knowing of each other was subject to what we call friendship. I never thought these two years would be so swift when it came to slipping away. It’s like we remember the first day we met, so clear and vivid. It was nasty jokes and loud music when Mehroz came to drop us at the Lajpat Nagar metro. We had different ways to go from there, we technically had. Pulkit would go towards Badarpur end while I would go to Central Secretariat, opposite sides you see? While mehroz would just go perpendicular to both of us!! It was making us laugh, it still does. Too much of drama right? There was elaborate hugging, elaborate enough to get us noticed to the passing crowd. “Gentlemen, it is nothing the way it looks like” cracked Pulkit at the gentlemen.